The Beagle and the Pear - (New York December 2002)

Just found an old sketch book with some photos of merit from a trip to the big apple I went on many moons ago. My lovely sister took me over there as a 21st birthday present, although my birthday is in July so not sure why we went in December. I remember almost being arrested the night before we flew for having a big chunk of skunk in my pocket when I was searched in a random stop and check. Luckily the fuckers just confiscated my stash and I was let off with a warning and some not so wise words of advice, including the dumbest remark ever "what would your boss say if he found out about this" to which I replyed, "what getting busted? gutted, I was just off to his house for a smoke".

The following day I was understandably a little nervous, as I always am, going through airport security. There's always an outside chance that I've got some kind of narcotic clinging onto me somewhere, in a pocket I can only find when I'm high or stuffed in the bottom of my bag, long forgotten and eager to be found by a pesky jobs-worth security clerk. Sure enough as soon as we touched down and entered customs a big fucking Beagle came bounding over to me, sniffing me up and down. I more-or-less shit myself. As for my sister, she's pretty shaky at the best of times and I could tell she was working herself into a true state of panic. Twice in 24hrs I'd been sniffed and singled out by a mean nosed drugs dog. Imagine my relief and joy when all they found was one british over ripe pear. Plus because of this we were fast tracked through customs so it all worked out chipper in the end. The Beagle and the Pear.